Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
