I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
