Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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