Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
