I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
