I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She even gives head with a lisp.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
