is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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