Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
