this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
