I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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