Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
