Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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