seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
