At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
