I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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