Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
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All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
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American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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