Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
