You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
