I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
