what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
