Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
