I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place