Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
