make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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