I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
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We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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