At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
40s are totally the cure
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
