If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize