It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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