Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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