When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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