I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
