Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
