Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
