You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
