Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
