last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
