i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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