Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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