you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
