watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
