Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize