I can text with my tongue
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
