You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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