We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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