found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
