a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
