I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
