In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
