Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize