I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
