i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
