This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
