yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
