This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize