i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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