Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
