Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
