Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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