THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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