Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Randomize
