Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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