Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I miss vodka workout Fridays
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
