I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
