I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
